Starring(?) Reb Brown

29 06 2012

Can anything really be said to “star” Reb Brown?  Isn’t that a bit like saying your MLB team “stars” Steve Balboni? (But, I suppose the Kansas City Royals are a bit like the TV movie of the MLB.  Though, as you can see, he spent some time musing about his record strike outs while on the NY Yankees.)

Reb Brown, like “Bye Bye”, is one of those guys who can only do one thing well and at the utter and total expense of nearly every other aspect of his career.  Reb’s one skill?  He can smack the unintelligent meat head role right out of the park.  As for other aspects of his acting, let’s just say they are as impressive as a .229 career batting average.  This  much is apparent if you’ve seen Space Mutiny, where Reb’s greatest achievement is getting to third base with some octogenarian woman with a fondness for tutus and Santa for a father.  He probably went in head first, like Pete Rose:

The point of all this being: 1) baseball metaphors quickly become tiring and 2) everything Reb Brown has ever done has been complete shit.  However, Reb has performed consistently well in one category throughout: he’s been a big, hulking pile of gristle that, on occasion, can over-emote and will probably hit on your grandma.  His casting as Cap is both baffling and oddly appropriate at the same time because, let’s face it, Cap is a bit like Reb Brown.  He’s a meat head and, to be quite frank, more than a little two-dimensional (a perfect fit for Reb’s only skills: over-emoting and flexing his thighs), but, at the same time, he is absolutely unconvincing as a superhero.  Could he play the part of some guy who likes to wear too-tight graphic tees?  Absolutely.  Someone whom villains are afraid of?  Probably not, unless said villain’s weakness is frat boy behavior  or male camel toe.  Which brings me to my Friday night, where I’m slogging through this 1979 TV movie which is everything you’d expect of a late-70’s TV movie with below-average acting and a contrived, but ultimately boring plot.  (The 70’s were big on contrived but ultimately boring, especially if it involved a highly improbable conspiracy theory.)   I’ll save the rest of my thoughts for a review, but I’ll leave you with another image of the Steve Balboni of the acting world, Reb Brown:

Cherish it.  I’ll be back soon with a review.



4 responses

30 06 2012

Damn you! You’re making me fall in lust with Reb Brown! I’m becoming obsessed and it’s all your fault! ; )

30 06 2012

This page is turning into the official Reb Brown internet shrine —

2 07 2012
Aaron Babcock

I do it for the page hits.

2 07 2012

Hahahahaha — let me know how that’s working out, I might try it myself!

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